the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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