Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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