In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
