that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
