The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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