I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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