You really coming over, don't trick.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
