why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
