you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
two words...techno handjob
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
