That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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