The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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