vagina is talking i cant
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
