i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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