At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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