There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
