when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
