If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
