I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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