i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
