cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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