so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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