My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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