genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
