Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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