It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
