im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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