I must be too annoying 4 u.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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