i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
