I'm passing your future prison.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
