It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
