No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
