if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
