then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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