lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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