he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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