he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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