Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
