1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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