Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
