I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
