when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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