I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
