Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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