fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
