I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
These tits shall not be calmed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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