Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
