just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
