I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
