i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize