And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
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Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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