a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
