I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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