also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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