Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
