Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
