You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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