This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
