at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
