youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
did i walk over a car last night?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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