im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
