whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
