i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I cannot find my penis.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
