it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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