I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
